A work conversation today reminded me of a distant friend in Ontario whom I hadn’t heard from in almost a year. I immediately tried to reach out, but many of the phone numbers I had were no longer active. I got the automated “number not assigned” message and panicked, instantly regretting not having been a better friend by checking in more often.
Luckily, one number worked, and my friend returned my call. We chatted for over an hour, and the conversation naturally turned to language. My friend has achieved high proficiency in Tibetan due to a deep cultural interest. Through our talk, I learned about some of the peculiarities of Tibetan grammar that are foreign to the languages I know.
Specifically, my friend described what I believe is called the Existential-testimonial copula—a grammatical requirement where every statement one makes must distinguish whether the event was directly experienced and witnessed by the speaker or whether it is based on hearsay or inference. I believe this distinction is absent in the languages I know. This suggests that if I were to learn Tibetan, I would acquire a different way of looking at the world—a constant mental filter demanding I categorize events as either personally seen/felt or heard through others’ perception.
It was deeply refreshing to connect with a friend who appreciates languages as much as I do. Being in an English-centric city, the topic of studying non-dominant languages rarely comes up. And if it does, it’s usually viewed purely through the utilitarian lens of professional advantage or job-seeking.
It was wonderful to reconnect with a friend who has been in my life for over 20 years and who understands my passion for the beauty and the quirks each language brings. I’m glad I reached out.