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Stitching Italian into the Gaps

Since January started, I’ve told myself to set my knitting aside and focus on Italian whenever I have “dead time.” At the moment, Italian feels much harder than German. Objectively, I know this probably isn’t true, but I think I’ve simply forgotten how much work I put into German during those first few months. I’ve forgotten the effort it took to acquire enough vocabulary just to watch YouTube without being overwhelmed. It’s amazing how quickly we lose sight of the sheer volume of work required to start a language from scratch.

At this stage, I am also convinced it’s impossible to learn a language by spending only fifteen minutes a day on an app or reading. That might work at an intermediate level, but as a beginner, I need to encounter words over and over again to make them stick. Perhaps I’m just getting older and don’t retain information as quickly as I once did.

The problem is that I don’t have the time for an hour of active study—verb conjugations, flashcards, and formal drills—especially since German remains my priority. Instead, I want to use my Italian journey as an experiment: Can I pick up the language using only my dead time?

For me, this means reading the same content repeatedly until the core vocabulary feels familiar. It also means choosing not to study grammar actively (I didn’t really study German grammar, either). I’ll only look up a rule when I’m truly stuck and it becomes necessary for understanding.

What has surprised me most about Italian isn’t the difficulty of the language itself, but how I have forgotten the time and stamina the early phase demands. With any luck, I will get far enough with Italian that the next time I start a language, I can look back on this journey and remember what the beginning actually feels like.

January 13, 2026

Beginner Phase, Dead Time, Italian, Language Learning
Unfinished Japanese

Every time I come across a mention of the Japanese language, a sense of guilt swells up. It was a language that defined a significant part of my life in the late nineties and early two-thousands, but I’ve since let it lapse. I haven’t put in the effort to keep it up. Occasionally, I’ll find myself on a sudden “kick” to read or write in Japanese, but I can never sustain it the way I’ve managed with my German.

I can’t quite rationalize this guilt or pinpoint its source. Perhaps it’s the same feeling that arises when I spend too long knitting instead of doing something “productive”—like learning to code or acquiring a monetizable skill. Or perhaps the guilt comes from the timeline: Japanese has been part of my life for over two decades, yet I am content with having passed the N2 exam without striving for more. Still, a nagging feeling persists that I should want more.

Perhaps, however, learning a language isn’t about achieving N2, N1, or reaching the B2 or C2 levels of the CEFR. Maybe what is truly nagging me is the fact that my Japanese studies were once so entangled with the pressure of grad school and scholarship applications. While I was attracted to the literature and culture, the language became a tool to prove my worth to others rather than a space for personal appreciation.

Though I knew the concept of 一期一会 (ichigo-ichie)—the idea of a once-in-a-lifetime encounter—I wasn’t able to apply it. I failed to live in the present or cherish the unique experience of the language itself. My ability was always being evaluated against how it could benefit me, rather than being acknowledged for its own sake.

I see now that it would have been better to be mindful—to study for the process rather than the surrounding benefits. Because my study was always a means to an end, it was done in such a hurried manner that I don’t remember the joy of making connections with words, a joy I feel so clearly now with German and even Italian.

Perhaps, one day, Japanese will become an active part of my life again. If that day comes, I’ll be sure to embrace the process—not for a scholarship or an application, but simply for the love of understanding and the quiet discovery of new things.

January 12, 2026

Japanese, Language Learning, Mindfulness, 一期一会
December’s Stitches

Léttlopi wool and the beginnings of the Douglas Cardi.

December came and went. While I’d promised myself a strong start in Italian, the progress has been—to put it mildly—modest. My LingQ stats show a humble 31 words. I likely know a few more from reading elsewhere, but my pace has been slow, and I’ll admit I haven’t been pushing myself. German, on the other hand, remains a constant; my love for the way it sounds provides all the motivation I need to keep listening and reading every day.

Still, a certain guilt lingers over my neglected Italian studies. That time was largely claimed by a few knitting projects. After finishing a sweater by Kate Davies, I finally cast on Andrea Mowry’s Douglas Cardi. I’ve admired this design since it was published in 2021—there is something about those stripes that just feels happy.

The final spark of inspiration actually came from a crossover of my two worlds. While watching the German YouTuber Joseph DeChangeman (part of my daily immersion practice), I noticed him wearing a colourful cardigan. Although the design was different from the Douglas Cardi, that bold and lumpy sweater feel really spoke to me. It’s rare to find such joyful colorwork in commercial clothing, and I find myself drawn to that unique, handmade feel.

As a result, much of my free time in December was spent knitting the Douglas Cardi. Knitting is inherently peaceful and soothing, yet I found myself unable to justify the time spent on a garment I really don’t need. With only 24 hours in a day, it’s hard not to feel the “opportunity cost” of every row worked.

The saving grace? My knitting time wasn’t entirely lost to language learning. I’ve made it a habit to watch German Netflix series or listen to German podcasts while I work through the rows. It’s a small redemption. Knitting is a wholesome pursuit, but as the year turns, I’m still searching for that perfect balance between the the solace of the stitches and the challenge of a new language.

January 3, 2026

Douglas Cardi, German, Italian, knitting, Language Learning, Léttlopi

Stitching Italian into the Gaps

Unfinished Japanese

December’s Stitches